BANK CHARGES © Port Whitman Times 2010
Now the bank wants to charge me an "Inactivity Fee" - Just for leaving my money with them and not doing anything with it. Or letting THEM do anything with it either. So they are charging me for storing it there, for just letting it lie fallow. But if I make 10 transactions every month, there's no fee; In other words holding me up, for letting my dough sit. Pretty smart, banker, since it was one of yours who enticed me into first opening the account, so I could get a higher rate for letting you use my CD money to lend out!
Now, what if God (The Other Great power in our lives) operated thusly? If you just subsisted, just did nothing but get by, then you were penalized by not letting God use you for his purposes — "Two years in Purgatory, jack, 'cause you just sat around smoking dope instead of doing something with your life." What do the various Gods, The Father, The Son, The Holy Ghost, Allah, Jehovah, etc., do in a case like that?
"You vill be punished accordingly for your sins of commission or OMISSION, vat you didn't do when you could haff, or vat you ever thought about doing (or not doing)" – It's just too complicated and think of what God has to go through to deal with all this for billions of people, not only while they're alive, but all of the ones who ever got to Heaven too. It's a logistical nightmare. "It'z a catastrastroke!" Durante used to say.
Remember: God is everywhere ("Woo, Woo, Woo!") like Santa Claus, "He sees you while you're sleeping, knows when you're awake, what you're dreaming. Everything. No hiding from God. So that's how it's getting to be, folks, you do nothing, time gets subtracted from your eternity. Not while you're here, but in-between here and there, for when you aren't there yet, yet not here anymore. Not like burning in Hell, more like endlessly standing in line, while you see others whom you consider less deserving than yourself being passed in. Oh, the injustice! — And the virgins, the servers of the good food, the perfect golf game, are lining up around the block waiting for you.
So God says "Get off your ass, and help save the world, not destroy it."
It's time to start controlling the population, for the sake of The Earth, not by blowing it up, but by more sensible means of population control. So get building up your eternity time, Eternity doesn't last forever, y'know. Time is fungible. And when someone says "Time's up" - That's the end. Henry Francisco
Mind-blowing ideas - Come infrequently, sometimes - When you least expect them
New Camden Times
The mind of a fool
Unrestricted by sense,
Free rein given thence
To rejoinders uncool
The host who invites you to dinner
Might not be an absolute winner,
But hey, the food's gratis
Consider your status
Enacting a role of tale-spinner
Being old and infirm-ish
Avoiding a skirmish
With youths who are sturdy
Might tag one as nerdy
Feeling a little bit worm-ish
Dents in our senses
Strike the world in which we live
Leaking through it like a sieve
(Better strengthen our defenses)
In life there's the fun
Making tales that are spun
But the ultimate purpose
Will suddenly surface:
Heavenly prizes we've won
At the mercy of art
We suddenly start
To recognize ends
Where life depends
On playing it ever so smart
Existence happens to you
So whattayagonna do?
For better or worse
Go forth or reverse
Before you bid life adieu